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On the pleasure of waiting / On the pleasure of sex
Opinons on sex
On the pleasure of waiting
by Britton Ledingham
As a 22-year-old who proudly totes his v-card along in his wallet, I do have something to say on the topic of abstinence as a lifestyle.
So, you may be wondering why I’m still holding onto something many literally cannot or could not wait to lose.
First off, I don’t think I would hold abstinence so dearly if it weren’t for Jesus in my life. As a Christian, I believe God created human beings and that He knows how sex works best. According to the Bible, sex is something to be enjoyed within the institution of marriage.
Sure, the institution of marriage in our society has been confused, but it’s meant to be a very special commitment between a man and a woman before God.
There are religious people, who seem to believe they can save themselves, point an incriminating finger at people who break marital commitments or who choose to enjoy life with the same sex.
But Jesus had more problems with the religious Pharisees of his day than he had with the prostitutes and tax collectors he mingled with. Point being: if you’ve fallen short, Jesus still loves you and does not condemn you. Google the story about Jesus freeing a woman caught in adultery if you’re curious (John 8:1-11).
If it seems like I’m preaching, the reason is that I find it hard to talk about sex without talking about spirituality. For me, they’re far too connected to separate.
I think much of the reason people find waiting for marriage nearly impossible is that our media says it is. Canadians spend enough leisure time in front of their televisions to have another part time job, and much of what we see on TV is sexually driven. Although not everything on TV is liable to get you going sexually, but the more you “awaken those desires” how can you expect to not want to cross the line?
Much of pop culture pokes fun at abstinence. No, I don’t believe ear sex is the answer for keeping youth abstinent (a little reference to a Family Guy episode involving Meg Griffin and an “abstinent” classmate). Some people figure that if we have these needs, and they’re natural (i.e./ God given) then we should meet them. Perhaps we are awakening these desires far too young and not able to stop the train when it starts rolling.
Comedian Russell Peters has a sketch where he says he loves women, and doesn’t feel ready to just love a “woman.” To Peters and so many others, freedom is doing what you want, when you want, and living with the consequences.
However, to me, freedom is defined as being free from guilt and all the baggage that tags along with it. I would rather wait for my future wife than drag emotional baggage from past partners into the mix. I want to look her in the eyes and honestly say I waited. It’s for this moment that I choose abstinence.
On the pleasure of sex
by Chris Kelly
Saint Augustine, in his Confessions of a Sinner, seemed to praise the pleasures of the flesh even as he sought redemption. He wrote: “As a youth I had prayed to you for chastity and said, ‘Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.’”
Such is the divisive power of the pleasure of sex that even a confirmed saint staved off salvation for it. As he uttered his famous prayer, he was torn between leaving his first concubine for an underage fiancée.
Sex is, by nature, a simple biological function, a mechanism for the perpetuation of the species. But due to the deep pleasure of the act, it carries with it a compelling mystique.
Sigmund Freud, the father of psychoanalysis, identified sexuality as the central source of human personality.
“Analyze any human emotion, no matter how far it may be removed from the sphere of sex, and you are sure to discover somewhere the primal impulse,” he said.
Freud’s statement, echoed by countless others, suggests that sex transcends its humble purpose.
The Hindu cult of the Vama Marga, commonly known for their practice of tantric sex, used sex to elevate themselves to heightened states of awareness. The Tantric texts identify three distinct and separate purposes of sex: procreation, pleasure and liberation.
Tantric liberation is found beyond the traditional fluid orgasm, as practitioners perform sexual rituals which enable them to eschew ejaculation in lieu of a regenerative feeling which they believe is capable of allowing them to achieve cosmic consciousness with a partner.
Similar beliefs and practices have been found in Taoism, which elevated intercourse to a spiritual practice that would eventually enable a disciple to attain immortality.
Pleasure, in both cases, is seen as the hinge of salvation. The visceral feeling is the commonality, and perhaps one of the most vital aspects of sex.
“Pleasure is arguably, if not definitively the single most powerful motivating factor for sexual behavior. To ignore the role of sexual pleasure in contributing to human fulfillment and happiness would be a serious mistake,” states the World Association for Sexual Health in its 2009 publication, Sexual Health for the Millennium.
An orgasm causes the human mind to enter – for a few blissful moments – the recognized medical state of euphoria, which detaches the regions of the brain that control anxiety and fear. It’s a physiological release in every sense, and it resonates deeply in humanity.
Beyond its biological imperative, Freud’s “primal instinct” fulfills a vital and individual human need. Some view it as transcendent – a liberation – and perhaps it is: if only from ourselves for a moment.
The pleasure of sex transcends our day-to-day lives and offers us a connection to our primal sensations, and it should be experienced as often as possible.