The “WEAL Sex” Column
Q: I’m a first year student and I have very few (girl) friends. Life is boring without a girlfriend: help me!
5: First year of college can be a different field when it comes to meeting someone of the opposite sex—especially when you spot someone from afar that you know isn’t in your program, and you wonder if you’ll ever see them again.
Let me tell you what I look for when I’m on campus if I’m ‘scoping.’ I like a cool demeanour, so look like you want to be talked to. I sometimes walk around the campus with a scowl on my face because I’m stressed. Do you think I get approached when I’ve got a frown on? Well, I suppose that depends on what I’m wearing, but the general consensus would be not too often. So be aware of your appearance to others.
Secondly, this is a college campus. There’s a bar, a coffeehouse, student and academic clubs, mixer nights and there’s also a pretty trendy neighbourhood just down 10th. Explore these options when you’re on break. Try a new place to grab a coffee, or choose a club to join. Clubs are great, because you know you’ll have something in common. And if you’re shy, its a great way to get talking!
And lastly, approach. Say ‘hi’ at the very least. Just the other day, I had someone tell me (after three-plus years of knowing him) that he was interested in me but was afraid to say something. I’m not a mind-reader, I don’t necessarily pick up on small signals – we’re all human after all. When he was in his ‘crush-prime’ on me I definitely would have been interested but now it just wouldn’t work out for us.
If you like someone, go for it. What have you got to lose? If they say “no,” you’ve got bigger balls than before, and you can go for it again. With a new target, of course.
A: In my experience, it is best to venture outside your comfort zone. Stay away from classmates, co-workers or friends. These types of relationships are what I call “shitting where you eat.” Should the relationship go south, you’re forced to spend time with someone you’d rather forget.
Not to say I think you are going to find your soul mate at 1 a.m., three sheets to the wind at your local watering hole, but venture out to trendy bustling areas where there are plenty of the opposite-sex.
Study at a coffee house, try a yoga or spin class, volunteer somewhere that matches your interests, keep your eyes peeled for cuties on campus who are in different programs.
If you’re really serious try online dating or speed dating.
Above all, be honest with yourself about what you want in a partner and never settle for less than you deserve just because you’re feeling lonely.
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